I have learned that in times of transition, whether planned or otherwise, it is best to recognize that there may be some discomfort along the way, rather than think that nothing can go off course. Although being optimistic greatly increases our chances of meeting our ultimate goal, it is when we ignore the possibility of a glitch that we often experience fear, great disappointment and, without realizing it, end up creating paradigms of failure, rather than victory.
Here are the practices I follow in order to be realistic while, simultaneously, achieving ease and balance within transition and moving towards my goals:
- I manage the fear that comes with change; what I fear is what I need to do;
- I am mindful that there are tradeoffs with every transition; nothing is perfect;
- I accept the good, bad and ugly, and embrace the learning that comes with each;
- I move towards patience for others and for myself as it takes me to gratitude;
- I avoid comparing myself to others; each small achievement takes me closer to my own personal goal.
1. There is no question that fear has held me back many times. In every scenario, I discovered that when I have the courage to ask the right questions and answer them honestly, I always end up conquering my inhibitions. I may not like the answers, but I am at peace knowing that they are the truth, and they will take me to where I am ultimately meant to be.
2. When I go to the mindset of wanting only the good in life, it takes me to a pattern of holding back from experiencing the life I want or becoming my best self. I end up avoiding the adventure that awaits me as I sit in the safety of comfortable. If I want to reach my goals, I must accept that tradeoffs are part of the process; they may not always be pleasant, but they are definitely a reality and part of the getting to where I want to go.
3. I learned the fine art of acceptance many years ago when I was slam-dunked with Rheumatoid Arthritis. That was ‘acceptance 101’ and I thought I had passed with flying colors. However, I now know that there are many levels of acceptance, and I am still climbing that ladder; it is a continuum of learning that never ends. I no longer fight my emotions or the ‘bad’ things that pop up during change; they are provided for a reason, and I am aware that something good always comes as a result of their presence.
4. Practicing patience enables me to follow a plan while allowing the flexibility of where and when my goal will come to fruition. It is when I acknowledge the fate of the universe and accept that all things happen when they are meant to, that I know I am truly present in each experience along the way and grateful for what I am given as a result. It is imperative that I recognize others’ part in my plan; I am not doing any of this on my own, and I need to honor their pace as we move forward or behind.
5. Comparing myself with others takes me to a very dark place of competition, and my intentions become quite jaded. I choose to celebrate others’ accomplishments simply because they are just as deserving and worthy of their victories as I am. I have come to realize that if I cannot find joy in others’ success, I will most certainly not find it in mine.
I recognize that every one’s ‘comfortable’ is different from someone else’s, and that the same is true of our individual perception of victories. Since being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease 3 years ago, my husband has been successful at managing his adversity at his own pace and in his own way, and he continues to do so.He carries a mantra by Davis Phinney with him on his IPad and in his heart;
“Every Victory Counts”
Since hearing it for the first time, I have defined what it means to me;
“Whether I take a few steps forward or back, I will acknowledge that each one is a small victory in the right direction even when it doesn’t always seem so. If someone else’s place to land seems much better than mine, I have likely gone to that silly place of comparing myself to them. This is when I re-group and reflect on where I have come from and where I am heading; it is all meant to be”
“Every Victory Counts.”
#EveryVictoryCounts #transition #fear #tradeoffs #LeadAuthentic #DaringlyMindful