I have seen this video many times over the last couple of days, and have noticed that it has evoked an great surge of female defence. The message is effective because it reiterates how girls’ authentic selves can dwindle away by the time they reach puberty if we allow society’s paradigms and perceptions to influence our way of showing up in the world. However, this is not just a female issue; boys and men are constantly pressured to ‘be a man’ or ‘man up’. If they do not fit the image or behaviour of such, they are labelled as gay or effeminate, neither of which in my world are bad, but in this context the implication is that they are not good enough if there is even a hint of this lack of what society’s perception of masculinity is.
The simple fact that this video was targeted only to girls in itself creates sexism and separates women from men as equals. It has created a label that girls/women are the only ones who suffer from this demeaning stigma of unworthiness. Labelling of any kind brings us to judgement and it is presented both boldly and outwardly or with a flare of quiet passive aggressiveness. Whether we are commenting, comparing or simply rolling our eyes or ignoring and looking the other way, the end result is criticism. Sometimes we talk too much about what is right and what is wrong. We think that we have the right to determine whether someone is thin or fat, an introvert or an extrovert, masculine or feminine, strong or weak, crazy or sane. In the end, who really gives a shit!!
What if we just let everyone be and accepted them as they are. If we chose this humane way of being, maybe each of us could feel confident showing up as were all meant to – as ourselves and connected to all! We could celebrate our uniques ways of being, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We would feel the freedom to do what felt right for each of us, and throw away our inhibitions towards change, adventure and joy. We would learn more about ourselves, others and the world itself. This may sound idealistic but, it isn’t; it’s actually more realistic than the fakeness we as a society are generally living now.
My advice if someone tells anyone they do anything ‘like a girl’ or ‘like a boy’ is to say ‘thank you’. The same is true when someone tells a woman or a man s/he is ‘too emotional’ or ‘too strong’ or anything ‘too’ – how empowering would it be to stand up tall and reply, ‘thank you!!’. We need not be ashamed to be too feminine or masculine as the implications work both ways, and our self-worth is not defined by the shallowness of how we do things or what we look like. What would it be like if we took the time to understand ‘who’ we are on the inside and then accept each of us as such. We are worthy and deserving simply because we are standing on this earth.
For me, finding out how someone feels about something, what inspires them or what brings them joy or what pulls them down tells me a lot about them as a person, and shows me their true beauty; the pretty of their soul. Taking the time to get to know someone’s best self, and then accepting them for whatever that looks like, is the biggest compliment you can offer someone; it provides worth in an authentic and loving way. xoxo
#LikeAGirl #LikeABoy #LikeAHumanBeing #LeadAuthentic #DaringlyMindful