One of the most challenging things I chose to learn and practice is to be decisive in the moment; it’s not easy, unless you have the right tools.
I am sure you can relate to those times when you were engaged in a conversation and the other person either asked you a question or made a statement, and your response came out completely different from what you really believed or wanted to say.
I get it because I lived there for half of my life; knowing what I wanted to say or do, and then choosing to do the exact opposite. I convinced myself that it was easier to meet someone else’s expectations than fill my space and energy with my own belief system. I chose conforming to societal normalcy, rather than celebrating my uniqueness.
It was when I reached a point when I could no longer bare the self-deceipt and discomfort I was experiencing in those moments, those years, my lifetime to this point, that I discovered the magic of mindfulness. It scared me at first because I quickly realized that ‘being mindful’ involved the truth; speaking and being my truth, and being aware of what that looked and felt like, and then having the courage to ‘be’ it.
I grabbed my courage and pulled on my truth, and decided to show up with as much vulnerability as I could handle moment by moment
I meditated, practiced yoga and read all the books from the mindfulness gurus, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, etc. However, at that time, it was all so deep and confusing, and I wanted something a little more straight forward and practical; something that combined both sides of my brain, logical and creative, and that I could use in the reality of my every day world. I wanted to be able to translate what I was learning into action.
I did the research and sought out a very pragmatic approach to mindfulness thanks to the philosophy and learnings of Authentic Leadership Global™ and it’s founder, Tana Heminsley. I learned how to choose to step back, without being noticed, in order to determine how I want to represent myself in that particular moment, and then move into that way of showing up with confidence and ease. When it made sense and I understood how it worked, it became something I could practice and become better at over time.
Once I learned how to be more mindful in the moment and later became a coach, I decided to share this magical secret with my clients. I created a process developed from the Authentic Leadership Global™ programs that includes the following
5 ‘On The Spot’ Ways To Be Mindful
without being sucked into the vortex of, what we perceive, to be the expectations of others.
When you find yourself engaging with others or in difficult situations, take a moment to do the following:
1. FEEL your physical self; when you get that flip in your stomach, or the hair on your neck is tingling, you are receiving a message telling you that something is not right in your world, and you need a moment to GAIN CLARITY;
2. PAUSE and take 10 seconds to re-calibrate; take a breath and don’t say anything (the person you are engaging with won’t even notice, but those 10 seconds are gold for you); this will give you time to INTERNALLY STEP BACK FROM THE CONVERSATION;
3. THINK about what you really want to say or do, compared to what you were about to say or do; they are likely very different if you were experiencing an uncomfortable physical response (I call it the ‘icky’ feeling); this is the time to determine which response IS INLINE WITH WHAT YOU REALLY BELIEVE;
4. CHOOSE between making the other person happy and telling them what they want to hear, or HONOURING YOURSELF AND SHARING WHAT YOU REALLY VALUE;
5. TRUST yourself and what your honest response will provide you and the other person; you can celebrate speaking and being your truth, and the other person will be given the gift of knowing exactly how you feel and who you are. There will be NO DECEPTION OR AMBIGUITY.
Understand that speaking and being your truth in an Authentic way does not include arguing, wanting to be right or creating debate-like conversation. Just as we like to be honoured for our unique belief system, others appreciate their values being honoured as well. It gives each of us the choice to be aware of how we want to show up in this world while being respectful and allowing others to do the same.
If any of this resonates with you,
and you are yearning for a more ‘mindful’ and Authentic way of being,
it is easier than you think!!
Check out our November, 2015, 3-day Mindfulness Retreat here:
Joy Kingsborough, Diana Reyers and Meaghan Alton are…..
SEEKING 14 WOMEN WHO ARE WILLING TO
GRAB THEIR COURAGE AND DIVE INTO THE MAGIC OF VULNERABILITY
IN ORDER TO DISCOVER AND BE THEIR
BEST AND AUTHENTIC SELVES
REGISTRATION IS HALF FULL…
DO YOU DARE???
For more information, or to discover if this is a good fit, contact:
Diana at email@example.com
Joy at firstname.lastname@example.org