How To Honour Yourself Through Forgiveness

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It has been a while since I wrote a blog post, and today felt right to write!!

I’m not a big fan of sharing quotes because I know that they can create expectations for the reader to live up to the message, and they might not be ready given their circumstances or where they are within whatever their journey is. This little bundle of words resonates with me, and has supported me from time to time so, just throwing it out there should someone be able to use it to move forward from feeling hurt or deceived. If you’re not ready yet, I understand, and I encourage you to experience your anger and feelings of rejection before, even thinking of, offering forgiveness of any kind. Continue reading

From There To Here; Your Authentic Road Trip™, An Introduction

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Just thinking about going ‘From There to Here’ can be extraordinarily daunting. It involves continual evolution that leads to great personal growth and wisdom, and usually involves an element of change; change of mindset, then change of being, and finally, change of doing. Change in any of these areas can be scary if we lack the self-confidence to move through the experience of them. And, self-confidence is difficult to develop if we are not open to change.  Understanding and accepting that you will experience a number of ‘From There to Heres’ in your lifetime is essential, and that can feel like an exhausting endeavour; many feel it is best to just stay where they are because, even though they are uncomfortable and unhappy, it is familiar to them and it feels easier than jumping into something unknown.

“Contemplate this truth today:
We must be willing to be uncomfortable for a while
if we wish to be released from whatever has bound us.”

(Type Seven EnneaThought for February 8th – the Enneagram, 361)

Recognizing that your Authentic Road Trip™ has a number of departures and destinations provides you with endless transformational opportunities to be the best you can be (most of the time) at each stage. It’s not about trying to be perfect because we all know how that works out!! However, it allows you the space to grow and understand ‘who’ you are, and where you are heading, and to show up as your best self within whatever that looks and feels like at the time. At the end of each mini trip, you gain more clarity about your inner being, and you become more decisive about your next steps. It’s like a book – there is a little story within each paragraph, and within each chapter, and when all the chapters are pulled together in succession, they make up the complete novel or story. In this case, your series of ‘From There To Heres’ create your Authentic Road Trip™, and more prevalent, you develop self-knowing, and that creates peace and a sense of comfortableness in order for you to confidently lead life from your Authentic self. It’s far less about ‘doing’ and much more about ‘being’. Once you commit to leading life from your truth, everything falls into place with ease. Continue reading

Facing Fear Is More About Finding Clarity Than Being Brave

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South Lykken Trail, Palm Springs CA

I hiked the South Lykken Trail for the first time a few weeks ago. I felt a great sense of accomplishment given my lifelong fear of heights and various physical restrictions due to Rheumatoid and Osteoarthritis. When I began the trek up the steep canyon side, the thoughts of “You’re going to trip and fall”, “You’re going to be alone up here”, “You’ll never make it to the top” all began trickling in. This has happened to me so many times that I have lost count. But, this time it was different because I consciously chose to override the control my fear can have on me.  Continue reading

Re-defining ‘Resolutions’ To Create Feel-Good ‘Intentions’

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Ah, the start of a new year; a time to make a change, to move forward in a new direction, to be positive and mindful, health conscious and adventuresome. Every year, millions of people take on the challenge of a New Year’s resolution. They focus on how they can improve themselves, how they can become thinner, healthier, kinder, richer or more successful. Many think about what they need to do in order to be a better parent, partner, friend, employee or boss. What if you changed it up a little this year and challenged yourself to discover what is truly most important to you? What if you decided to discover what your inner purpose or true intention is?

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Forgiveness; What is Right, and What is Wrong?

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Forgiveness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have struggled with the expectation of forgiveness for a very long time. The movement of the perception that ‘if you forgive, you will find peace’ just didn’t resonate with me; there seemed to be a missing piece in the equation. I wondered how I could forgive someone who wasn’t open to being forgiven. How could I offer forgiveness to those who didn’t ask for forgiveness or even want to be forgiven? What was the point of forgiving others if they continue to show up in a way that hurts me? Continue reading

My Gift To You, How To Embrace “The Fuck” It Mode

Daringly Mindful Writing Nook

Daringly Mindful Writing Nook

 

Today is my birthday, and the first day I am back to my writing nook for a while. For shits and giggles, I am going to reverse the tradition of receiving gifts and share a gift with you. I call it the

“FUCK IT!” mode

That’s right, pardon my language, but I am going to be honest today!! Let’s go beyond all that ‘happy’ shit and have a real and raw conversation!! You know you want to, and you know that all that ‘be positive’ and ‘shine your light’ stuff can be frustrating at times when life takes a dip and just isn’t feeling so great. I get it!!

It has been 2 weeks since my surgery, and I just had some of my insides removed and other parts repaired. My backside is black and blue, and I can barely sit without screaming; having a bowel movement is like giving birth through my anus. What you saw and heard on my social media posts did not encompass a tiny percentage of what I was really going through. I fed into the expectation of only showing up as the ‘let’s be happy, optimistic and move towards joy’ bullshit gal. It was exhausting keeping up with how I thought I ‘should’ show up, rather than going with ‘here is how I really feel’ so I am now choosing,

“FUCK IT!”

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Using Your Heart and Your Brain To Discover Happiness

follow your heart and take your brain with you

Our society has created a great surge of desired positivity through the masses of television and social media. A movement that is meant to create a ripple effect of fulfilled people who find their life’s purpose and experience ultimate joy has instead created a society with unattainable expectations, massive disappointment and wide spread depression. Individuals, both young and old, have become entitled to an extreme dysfunctional degree. I have recently been taking stock of the emotions that arise in me when I hear people advocating that in your lifetime “you can have it all”. It does not inspire me to dream bigger or motivate me to move towards those dreams.

Instead, I become overwhelmed by the idea that I am supposed to be able to want and achieve more, and as a result, I will be happier than I already am. Anxiety develops because deep down in the cockles of my realistic self, I know that I cannot possibly have it all.

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Kelowna; Canada’s Best Kept Secret

View From My Balcony

View From My Balcony

I have lived in Canada most of my 54 years on this earth. I was born in Kingston, Ontario, other wise known to the locals as ‘K-Town’, a beautiful city that borders picturesquely on Lake Ontario and, whose residents proudly preserve it’s history and heritage. I became who I am today from the people I surrounded myself with and the experiences I moved through. I came to a point in my personal evolution that I felt it was time to move on in order to transition with ease through my next chapter.  As a result, last year, my husband and I decided to leave our roots in the east in order to fulfill our want for a change and to explore a different part of Canada. We were drawn to the opposite end of our country, and discovered a wondrous city in the west; Kelowna, British Columbia, ironically, also fondly referred to as ‘K-Town’.

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5 ‘On The Spot’ Mindful Ways to be Decisive

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One of the most challenging things I chose to learn and practice is to be decisive in the moment; it’s not easy, unless you have the right tools.

I am sure you can relate to those times when you were engaged in a conversation and the other person either asked you a question or made a statement, and your response came out completely different from what you really believed or wanted to say.

I get it because I lived there for half of my life; knowing what I wanted to say or do, and then choosing to do the exact opposite. I convinced myself that it was easier to meet someone else’s expectations than fill my space and energy with my own belief system. I chose conforming to societal normalcy, rather than celebrating my uniqueness.

It was when I reached a point when I could no longer bare the self-deceipt and discomfort I was experiencing in those moments, those years, my lifetime to this point, that I discovered the magic of mindfulness. It scared me at first because I quickly realized that ‘being mindful’ involved the truth; speaking and being my truth, and being aware of what that looked and felt like, and then having the courage to ‘be’ it.

I grabbed my courage and pulled on my truth, and decided to show up with as much vulnerability as I could handle moment by moment

I meditated, practiced yoga and read all the books from the mindfulness gurus, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, etc. However, at that time, it was all so deep and confusing, and I wanted something a little more straight forward and practical; something that combined both sides of my brain, logical and creative, and that I could use in the reality of my every day world. I wanted to be able to translate what I was learning into action.

I did the research and sought out a very pragmatic approach to mindfulness thanks to the philosophy and learnings of Authentic Leadership Global™ and it’s founder, Tana Heminsley. I learned how to choose to step back, without being noticed, in order to determine how I want to represent myself in that particular moment, and then move into that way of showing up with confidence and ease. When it made sense and I understood how it worked, it became something I could practice and become better at over time.

Once I learned how to be more mindful in the moment and later became a coach, I decided to share this magical secret with my clients. I created a process developed from the Authentic Leadership Global™ programs that includes the following

5 ‘On The Spot’ Ways To Be Mindful

without being sucked into the vortex of, what we perceive, to be the expectations of others.

When you find yourself engaging with others or in difficult situations, take a moment to do the following:

1. FEEL your physical self; when you get that flip in your stomach, or the hair on your neck is tingling, you are receiving a message telling you that something is not right in your world, and you need a moment to GAIN CLARITY;

2. PAUSE  and take 10 seconds to re-calibrate; take a breath and don’t say anything (the person you are engaging with won’t even notice, but those 10 seconds are gold for you); this will give you time to INTERNALLY STEP BACK FROM THE CONVERSATION;

3. THINK about what you really want to say or do, compared to what you were about to say or do; they are likely very different if you were experiencing an uncomfortable physical response (I call it the ‘icky’ feeling); this is the time to determine which response IS INLINE WITH WHAT YOU REALLY BELIEVE;

4. CHOOSE between making the other person happy and telling them what they want to hear, or HONOURING YOURSELF AND SHARING WHAT YOU REALLY VALUE;

5. TRUST yourself and what your honest response will provide you and the other person; you can celebrate speaking and being your truth, and the other person will be given the gift of knowing exactly how you feel and who you are. There will be NO DECEPTION OR AMBIGUITY.

Understand that speaking and being your truth in an Authentic way does not include arguing, wanting to be right or creating debate-like conversation. Just as we like to be honoured for our unique belief system, others appreciate their values being honoured as well. It gives each of us the choice to be aware of how we want to show up in this world while being respectful and allowing others to do the same.

If any of this resonates with you,
and you are yearning for a more ‘mindful’ and Authentic way of being,
it is easier than you think!!
Check out our November, 2015,  3-day Mindfulness Retreat here:

Daringly Mindful™ You Retreat

Joy Kingsborough, Diana Reyers and Meaghan Alton are…..

SEEKING 14 WOMEN WHO ARE WILLING TO
GRAB THEIR COURAGE AND DIVE INTO THE MAGIC OF VULNERABILITY
IN ORDER TO DISCOVER AND BE THEIR
BEST AND AUTHENTIC SELVES


REGISTRATION IS HALF FULL…
DO YOU DARE???

For more information, or to discover if this is a good fit, contact:

Diana at daringlymindful@gmail.com
Joy at joy@joykingsborough.com